Sunday, November 7, 2010

School Climate Update

At this point, we are moving into the third month of the school year, and I am happy to report that we seem to be making progress toward developing the kind of safe and accepting school climate that we want to have for our students.  We are using a multi-faceted approach, including work in Open Circle sessions, weekly school meetings, integration into curriculum, lunch and social group meetings, work with individual students, and work in partnership with parents.  Our weekly school meetings, first thing on Monday mornings, help to set the tone, and are designed to provide a positive beginning to the week.  (This coming Monday morning's meeting will feature a patriotic skit written and performed by three 5th grade girls -- it's wonderful, and I'm excited about including more student performances at school meeting!)

As you also know, we are working with students on specific ways of stopping teasing and bullying.  One approach is one which we refer to as "Step 1, Step 2."  Step 1 is a difficult, but very important, life skill -- being able to assertively and politely ask another person to change their behavior when their behavior is hurtful to you.  Doing this is even difficult for us as adults, but I am hopeful that if we work on it with our students they will be able to develop their communication skills in a way that will serve them well for the rest of their lives.  If Step 1 doesn't work, or if a student is unable to do it, we ask them to do Step 2, report the problem to an adult and ask for help -- again, I believe this is an important life skill.  Finally, along these lines, we are also talking with students about what they can do to help when they are bystanders, when they see someone doing something mean or hurtful to another person.  We have suggested three different actions that students can take in this situation: (1) tell the person to stop ("Step 1" for a bystander); (2) take the target out of the situation (for example, inviting the target to come with them to do something); and (3) report the situation to an adult (the bystander's "Step 2").  We are asking students not to simply watch and do nothing, but to take one of these three actions.

We are hopeful that parents will help and support us in this important work so that our school community will be safe and comfortable for every one of our students.  There are two essential ways that parents can help -- first, by modeling kind, courteous behavior themselves, and, second, by talking with their children when they see bullying by others (for example, in the media).  Children learn powerfully from their parents, particularly by watching parents' actions and behavior.  If parents consistently treat others kindly and comment negatively on examples of unkind behavior, children will learn kind behavior.  If, on the other hand, parents treat others unkindly, children will learn that behavior, or if children are continually exposed to the many examples of bullying behavior demonstrated by too many adults in our society (e.g., politicians, sports figures) without parents explaining why that behavior is not acceptable they will come to regard it as acceptable.

Thank you to all the many wonderful parents who are working with us to eliminate the problem of teasing and bullying and to create a community in which everyone is accepted and valued -- I believe that helping children grow into good, caring people is the most important work there is and I appreciate working with everyone in our community toward that goal.